Promotion – £160m Reasons Why You Need A Lucky Mascot

With an estimated £160m the prize for surviving just one season in the Premier League, the stakes have never been higher. It seems only yesterday that managers were coming out with the line ‘This squad is not quite ready for promotion’. These days you take all the success you can, as soon as you can or risk being cut adrift from the leading pack, swept away on a tide of flotsam and washed up on the beaches of football obscurity. Success has to come Now; It has to come this season.

Football League Mascot Race 2012 in support of Prostate Cancer UK

The problem with being in the Championship is that it’s not just about you, it’s about 23 other teams that mostly want what you want. Yes I know that the likes of Doncaster, Bournemouth and Yeovil, who have come up from League 1 will be thought of as having had a good season if they survive at the higher level. The talk for them will be of ‘consolidation’ in the league and ‘building a platform’ but you and I know that’s a lot of tosh. We all know better. There are £160m reasons to be in the top three come May next year. So that well worn phrase ‘there are no easy games in this league’ has never been more appropriate than the 2013-14 season. Sure, you need a good manager, a sizeable squad and a decent amount of funding to mount a serious promotion challenge but you also need a good slice of Lady Luck. Don’t expect the luck just to come your way of its own accord, you have to give it a helping hand. You need a lucky mascot on your team, an ambassador capable of showcasing the club to the wider football world, kicking every ball from the touchline and totally committed to achieving success. Entertainment at football matches used to be confined to a few well worn records over a crackling PA system and trying to find the meat in your pie whilst juggling with a searingly hot cup of Bovril. You might occasionally have got a brass band that helped the groundsman at half time by treading down the divots, but that was about it. However, in the early 90’s things were starting to change. Football grounds had finally stopped being the places where male supporters congregated for a ‘piss up’ and the occasional punch up. They became family friendly arenas where the next generation of supporters could be schooled to eventually shell out vast sums on season tickets and merchandise in pursuit of their team. This younger following, as well as wanting to continually ‘graze’ on burgers, pop and sweets, wanted to be entertained before, during and after the match. So the club mascot in living furry form, rather than a cartoon character, was born. Initially they were all cuddly, furry bundles of fun for the kids but over the last twenty or so years that remit has somehow been lost. Once they were mostly dogs, cats, lions or maybe the odd horse. Somehow, like many good ideas, things get a little twisted, the result is that worldwide all manner of football mascots exist and the cuddly dogs have metamorphosed into something distinctly more odd and sometimes sinister. Trabzonspor have chosen a European Anchovie as their mascot but his image is elusive, possibly eaten by ‘kanki’ a frighteningly large puppy dog and the mascot for the FIFA U20 World Cup who was seen at the ground in April. Tijuana in Mexico have a quietly menacing mascot by the name of Xolo (pron. cholo) which is short for Xoloitzcuintle an Aztec hairless dog. I am reluctant to show you his image because the team’s owner Jorge Hank Rhon, a former mayor, was arrested last year by the Mexican military and was found to have dozens of weapons and thousands of rounds of ammunition in his house. I wish you well Xolo. Brazilian teams can lay claim to a selection of vultures, parakeets, a whale and even a hurricane, whilst in Honduras Vida has a Coconut Palm and Platense a Shark. It seems the whole footballing world has got on the bandwagon. Of course these lucky mascots can work against you in the drive for success. They have got into all sorts of bother over the years. In 2001 Bury’s mascot, Robbie the Bobby was sent off for mooning at the Stoke City fans. He saw red a few weeks later after ripping off the ears of the Peterborough rabbit. He didn’t stop there. A vicious attack on Bartley the Bluebird from Cardiff left the bird with a broken nose and missing teeth. That’s what you get if you employ an amateur boxer as your mascot but hardly what you want your little ones seeing on a Wednesday night. Wolves Wolfie was up for a fight with anyone, whether it be local rivals West Brom or taking on all three of the Bristol City pigs in front of the Molineux fans. Top of the ‘Bad Boy League’ must go to Cyril the Swan who was handed a £1,000 fine for a solo pitch invasion and on another occasion ripped the head off Millwall’s poor old Zampa the Lion and drop kicked it into the crowd; And you thought it was Millwall fans that were always badly behaved? Its time now to focus on those teams mascots who will challenge, fairly I hope, for the ultimate prize of plying their trade in the Premier League. Losing Cardiff, Hull and Crystal Palace to the Premier League means that we welcome the three relegated teams to the Championship. Queens Park Rangers, Reading and Wigan, who will all no doubt have designs on a quick return to the Premiership. Looking at the table before a ball has been kicked, Rovers are in third spot, Birmingham in second place and Barnsley are sitting proudly atop of the Championship ready to take their place back in the English first tier which I’m sure will be a relief for them after battling relegation last season. There’s only one problem, a ball hasn’t yet been kicked in anger and they like the rest of the B’s are top on alphabetical order. Here are the twenty four contenders.

Toby Tyke – Barnsley FC

Barnsley say on their website that they place an emphasis on family enjoyment at Oakwell and who better to keep us amused than Toby Tyke the club mascot. He took 2nd place in the Mascot Parade at Wetherby racecourse a year or two ago, despite apparently ‘attacking’ one of the judges. In the actual race he finished 75th out of a field of 83. Barnsley have had a tough time last season with trying to stay in the division. They should have enough in the locker to stay in the division but it won’t be a walk in the park, more of a dogfight.

Belle and Beau Brummie

Birmingham City have had turbulent times in the the last few seasons and there is little money available for Lee Clark to spend. Curtis Davies has now joined Hull, with the Premier League newcomers offering a fee in the region of only £2.3million and a swop. Davies was last season’s Blues player of the year and many think that fee is about half what he is worth. Steve Bruce is trying to play hard man again with the value of players. Lets hope he’s forgotten about Jordan Rhodes. Birmingham may well struggle this season so they will need a lucky mascot to lift the spirits. Their first mascot made his debut on 29th October 1966 on the front cover of the programme for a match against Blackburn attended by 17,626 fans. Beau Brummie, a blue bulldog, was at this stage only a cartoon image. He would be brought ‘to life’ in furry form only in 1997 and that was after the fans had endured three years of Bluenose, a blue blob of fur with little hands and legs. He had to wait until 2011 to get a female companion by the name of Belle.

Will Rover prove to be a Lucky Mascot?

Blackburn Rovers have Rover, a successor to the disgraced Roar and surely a distant relative to the Churchill Dog, with attitude? They have possibly had the most shambolic season since the last shambolic season the previous year, and come to think of it the season before. Six managers, if you include two stints as caretaker by Gary Bowyer and one by Eric Black, is nothing short of criminal but undeniably expensive. Gary Bowyer is possibly ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’ that we have all been searching for. He is not going to have much to spend and that’s not solely the fault of the owners but the impact of having to get behind the Financial Fair Play rules. What Bowyer represents is a chance of stability and if he is left alone to work with the squad, many of whom he has been responsible for developing, then a top six finish is surely achievable. Key to Rovers fortunes will not only be holding onto Jordan Rhodes but finding a partner for him and connecting a hitherto dysfunctional midfield to those up front and behind them. The interesting time for me will be when the January window opens, because if Rovers are holding on to a top ten place it is the time to gamble , and don’t think others will be slow to do so either. One or two astute signings in the ‘Window of Opportunity’, to coin another well worn phrase, could be a last chance to push for glory.

Bloomfield Bear from Blackpool

Blackpool’s squad recently returned to training, without their manager. Paul Ince had been forced to attend the U20’s World Cup in Turkey as part of his pro-licence coaching badge. He’ll return to the Seasiders in the knowledge that he currently has only 12 senior professionals on the books. No doubt he will pick up a few bargain buys but the key to Blackpool’s success must surely be filling the gap that son Tom will leave when he finally moves on. Perhaps Karl Oyston will allow Ince to spend just a few million of the expected £8m on doing just that. Bloomfield Bear has a kind face and is surely a hit with the younger supporters. The kind of bear that you could invite to your children’s birthday party and not worry what he was going to get up to. He replaced the long serving Cable Cat who retired in June 2000. Bloomfield is on twitter where he says he ‘likes football, loves eating and watching the mighty seasiders’.

Lofty Junior from Bolton

Bolton are advertising a sales vacancy in their ticketing office, which might be a prelude to the expected rush to the Reebok for the promotion season – Or not. They spent last season post Coyle under the management of the excellent Dougie Freedman; A man who appears to do his business quietly and with purpose. He has secured the services of Alex Baptiste from Blackpool to boost his defence and I think this will be the season they make a real push for the title. Lofty Junior who’s name originates from club legend Nat Lofthouse is a lion who is a bit of a fitness fanatic. He has his own video on the Lofty Juniors website where he shows you how to imitate the famous ‘Lofty Muscle Flex’, which are a series of body building poses. He has the look of Kevin Davies but now he has left the club might it be time for a refurrb?

Bournemouth’s Cherry Bear

Bournemouth are one of the newcomers to the Championship who will surely surprise a few old hands this season. Eddie Howe jumped ship at Burnley in October to rejoin a club with a mission to return to the second tier for the first time in over twenty years. They enjoyed a wonderful run of form in the run in to secure promotion with a real desire to go forward and score goals. They have a small but settled squad. They of all the promoted teams could be the ones to watch and I think they might just be the surprise package as top six contenders. Despite those cuddly looks Cherry could be a bit of a ‘Cherry No Mates’ by the look of his twitter account. He’s sent just 9 tweets, is following 20 people and has just 18 followers. Maybe a season in the Championship will make him a Cherry on top of his Tweets.

Watch out Gully’s about!

Brighton have a problem. Gus Poyet and his assistants, who were on extended ‘gardening leave’ for what seemed like an eternity, have finally found out their fate courtesy of the BBC. Or did they? Statements now emerging from the club seemed to indicate that Poyet was in fact in discussions with the club over the weekend prior to his appearance on the TV on Monday which all points to a stage managed show by Poyet. Shame really, as Brighton would have been one of the teams that could have made it to the ‘promised land’ this season. I know from experience that the towns of Brighton and Hove have some pretty large and fearsome Seagulls ready to do battle with anyone that gets in their way, none more so than Gully the Albion mascot. Expect this to get messy.

Bertie Bee – Burnley FC

Burnley are looking for strike power, Kevin Davies is looking for a new club and The Sunday People is looking for a story. Kevin tells TalkSport he wants to coach and play a bit of football but just because Sean Dyche is a friend I don’t expect him to get ‘mates rates’ on a contract for next season. Charlie Austin and Danny Ings could both leave before the start of the season but its hard to imagine Davies leading the line for Burnley, even as a wind up to the Blackburn fans after his ill- fated time at Ewood. Expect Davies to go to Preston instead. Bertie Bee is a mascot who has starred on ‘They Think Its All Over’ after rugby tackling a streaker on the pitch. Though just why you would want to take your clothes off on Turf Moor is beyond me. Bertie needs to come up with something to entertain the crowd as I suspect they will have precious little to shout about in mid table this season. He will have two chances to make his mark when the team plays Blackburn but when have you ever seen a Dog stung by a Bee?

Floyd the Dog and Harvey the Cat take it out on ‘The Evil Weed’ at Charlton Athletic

Charlton Athletic‘s Floyd the Dog and Harvey the Cat were seen pitchside in 2010 delivering a good kicking to another mascot. Now I don’t condone this behavior but its possibly excusable given that the recipient was in fact ‘The Evil Weed’ a nasty little mascot from the Greenwich Stop Smoking Service. So that’s all right then? Look away children you can light up after we get out of the ground. Sarah, who plays Harvey gave an interview in 2012 where she gave some insight into the tough world of a mascot. “The suits are really hot and sweaty in the summer when you are finished, you are literally dripping like you’ve just come out from the shower….I understand the suits are well over 15 years old and yes they do get regularly washed! Floyd’s ears are about hanging off, and I’ve recently had some whiskers replaced because the original ones had been pulled out over time from rude teenagers.” All this for no pay, just a free season ticket – and you don’t even get a seat! Sadly I don’t think you’ll be getting new suits come next May Sarah

Rammie in goal for Derby County

Derby County can count on Rammie to make any event special. A few of the possibilities on offer are birthdays, fetes and fun days, corporate events, sports events and even weddings. The corporate services he offers include attending your business HQ and awarding Rammie’s Employee of the Month and Rammie’s Employee of the Season. That’s surely something for your CV should you go on to pastures new. The more adventurous Bride and Groom can invite Rammie to the Wedding ceremony for a day they will never forget. Derby County’s Official Club Photographer can come along to record the fun and games. Maybe they will edit the scene where Rammie headbutts the mother in law into the fish pond. Derby have a chance of a top six finish this season baaah injuries.

Donny Dog – Doncaster Rovers

Doncaster Rovers are back in the Championship after only one season, despite losing Dean Saunders midway through the season to his short tenure at Wolves. That they spent most of the season at the top of League 1 is in no small part due to the experienced hand of Brian Flynn. He has now returned to his role behind the scenes following the appointment of former Blackburn Rovers striker Paul Dickov. He apparently beat Michael Appleton to the job. Dickov is about to raid his former club Oldham for their goalkeeping coach Paul Gerrard. No summer player signings yet but John Lundstram the young Everton midfielder enjoyed a successful loan spell at the Keepmoat in the final months of last season, helping the club secure the League One title and Dickov will no doubt be keen to talk to his pal Martinez about a return to The Keepmoat Stadium. Donny Dog, who has a chequered past posing in her underwear for the Sunday Sport, will doubtless be closely monitored from the touch line by South Yorkshire police lest there be a repeat performance. Come to think of it, it could just be a match winner.

The multi-talented Terry the Terrier – Huddersfield Town

Huddersfield Town, like many clubs at this time of year, continue to be linked with players who might return to the club but probably won’t. Simon Church has been released by Reading, he is rumoured to be interesting both Birmingham City and Huddersfield Town.He spent a loan spell with Huddersfield last season, which was largely unsuccessful, with Chairman Dean Hoyle quoted as saying that ‘Maybe we got his brother’ at the time. Church is without a club after Reading released the Welshman at the end of last season. Jon Stead is a player set to return to the club he left in 2003. He still has a house and family in the area but his return doesn’t seem to excite the Terriers faithful any more than Simon Church. Manager Mark Robins is looking for a new look strike force and midfield all on a shoestring budget. He has some good youngsters and with money tight then they will have to step up this season to try and keep the Terriers in the division. If they do drop down to League 1 I’m petty sure Terry the Terrier is sure to find employment at the club. Any mascot that can operate a computer and answer the phones as well as entertain the junior supporters has to be worth his weight in dog biscuits.

Crayzee & Bluey McHorse Ipswich thoroughbreds

Ipswich Town are relishing an opening day fixture at Reading, excited at the prospect of showing the Championship newcomers what competing in this league is all about. The fact that Ipswich are still competing in this League is largely down to one man, Mick McCarthy. Derided by some as a dour Yorkshireman whose teams play boring football, he led an Ipswich team low on confidence and points to the right half of the table and all on a tight budget. You have to wonder where Wolves would be now if he was still there. Titus Bramble is currently back on the training ground after being released by Sunderland and you would expect him to try and impress for a return to the club where he started in the Academy. I doubt they could make the top 6 but with Crayzee and Bluey McHorse driving them on they might just cross the winning line at a canter.

Lucas The Kop Cat and that man Diouf

Leeds United have had a lot to put up with over the last few years. Relegation, foreign owners, Ken Bates, Neil Warnock and El Hadj Diouf to name but a few. This season could be the time to kick on. They have a new manager in Brian McDermott with something to prove and a large fan base desperate for a return to the big time. The word is that a number of the Leeds players are already working hard at the Thorp Arch training ground even ahead of the official return to pre-season training, which has to be a good sign. Lucas the Kop Cat, named after Lucas Radebe, will be hoping they can claw their way into the promotion places.

Filbert Fox – Leicester

Leicester City supporters first saw Filbert Fox on the 19th September 1992. He was one of the first of the modern day mascots. He didn’t have a name then. That came a couple of weeks later when fans had posted their suggestions in the ‘Special Fox Box’ in the club shop, the winner getting a full Leicester City kit. He could only manage 18th place in the annual mascots race held at Doncaster racecourse in October last year but I’m expecting a much higher finish for the Foxes in the Championship race. Kasper Schmeichel has dismissed ‘ridiculous’ rumours that Steve Bruce wants to take him to Hull and back, preferring to book his place on the pre-season tour of Austria in July. Even without the help of a Lucky Fox mascot I expect Nigel Pearson to have them competing at the top end of the table right from the start.

Middlesbrough’s Roary the Lion (on the right)

Middlesbrough mascot Roary the Lion had a very special date with The Duchess of Cornwall last month. She is Patron of the National Literacy Trust and was presented to Roary (or should that be the other way round?) as part of a celebration of reading and literacy at a Middlesbrough library. I’m not sure who was the most surprised. They both looked all fingers and thumbs in the photographs. Roary needs to read up on the reasons for all those dropped points last season and help Tony Mowbray to write a plan for success or they will find themselves at the wrong end of the table.

Zampa the Lion – Millwall

Millwall reside at The Den which is on Zampa road so it was only natural to have your mascot named Zampa the Lion. He’s one of the only mascots in the Football League to have his own Facebook page. He ran the 2009 Mascot Grand National finishing in 9th place. Zampa ran the London Marathon in 2010, raising over £13,000 for the Everyman Cancer Campaign. Check out his ‘Headless’ video on YouTube where you can see the man behind the mask and get a feel of how much goes into being a mascot. Millwall have lost Kenny Jackett to Wolves but will embark on the new campaign with Steve Lomas at the helm. Lomas spent two seasons as St. Johnstone manager. The former Norther Ireland International led the Perth club to consecutive top-six finishes in the SPL and places in the qualifying rounds of the Europa cup. They should be comfortable in the Championship this season but I’m not sure even Zampa can roar them on to a top 6 finish.

Robin Hood – Nottingham Forest

Nottingham Forest have changed their mascot nearly as often as they have their managers. First to don the costume was ‘Nutty the Squirrel (who wore a Robin Hood-style hat) before being replaced with ‘Sherwood the Bear’. Robin Hood became Forest’s third mascot at the beginning of the 2007/08 season. Forest are said to be close to signing Walsall’s speedy winger Jamie Paterson. The 21 year old scored 13 goals for Walsall last season which could be a useful contribution if he could repeat that a a higher level. You get the feeling that Forest are really pulling it all together for a promotion push this season. That’s all down to the returning Billy Davies who picked up the reins again in February just 20 months after he was sacked. With the help of Robin Hood Forest must surely hit the target this season.

Spark the Tiger – Queens Park Rangers

Queens Park Rangers Harry Redknapp, if he stays, has the unenviable task of trying to reduce Rangers’ wage bill. One of the first problems is to sort out Joey Barton. He’s due to return to pre-season training after a trip to Glastonbury. He wants to stay with Marseille but they can’t afford his £70,000 a week salary. His solution – QPR to stump up £3m to pay-off the remaining two years of his salary. Add this to the other inflated salaries of Samba and the like and you can see Rangers have one hell of a problem. They will also have to cope with some pretty organised teams in the Championship this year. The bookies fancy them for a return to the big time at the first attempt but I think Spark is going to have to get his claws into some of the other fat cats at the club if they are going to survive. He’s been Top of the Cats since ousting Jude the Stadium Cat in August 2008 so is now only a whisker away from celebrating his fifth birthday but will Rangers be able to afford the candles?

Kingsley & Queensley Royals from Reading FC

Reading who are now bankrolled by their new Russian Owner Anton Zingarevich, ironically dispensed with the services of Brian McDermott towards the end of last season; gone it seems for not spending enough of Zingarevich’s money in the January transfer window. Nigel Adkins who replaced him from Southampton has hardly set the world alight but they have recently been on a bit of a spending spree, adding Wayne Bridge, Royston Drenthe and Danny Williams to the squad. This has made them one of the front runners with the bookies for promotion as champions. I expect them to do well this year, with or without Adkins, as the Russian will surely act quickly to move on any under performing staff, be that manager or players. Kingsley and Queensley the mascots are always immaculately turned out. Just what you’d expect from a Royal couple I suppose. I’d love to see a Royal couple on Strictly Come Dancing and have to admit that I would say “You are my favourites”, but then I’m biased.

Barney & Ozzie Owl – Sheffield Wednesday

Sheffield Wednesday had their work cut out last season to avoid the trap door to Division 1. Dave Jones is doing his best on a budget but the trio of Owls are also trying hard to keep spirits high. The nickname the Owls comes from Owlerton the suburb where the Hillsborough Stadium is situated. There are currently three Owl mascots Ozzie, Barney and new for 2012 was Ollie. They are on Facebook and their videos on YouTube show some good dance moves and some playful knockabout with ‘Buddy’ the ESPN FA Cup mascot being pushed over; all in good fun of course. They have recently secured the services of 33 year old Spanish defender Miguel Llera for another season, with his central defensive partnership with Antony Gardner proving important to the Owls survival last season. Dave Jones is going to need those three mascots and a lot of  hard work for them to progress.

Harry the Hornet – Watford FC

Watford‘s manager Gianfranco Zola must have been gutted at the end of the play-offs which saw Crystal Palace pip them at the post to the promised land, especially as they had been so close for much of the season. I guess that’s football for you. The task for the Hornets is to pick themselves up and do better this time. They have to be a top six contender although it won’t be any easier this season than last. Helping to get the club buzzing is Harry the Hornet. He’s been around since 1995 and was initially a quite fierce looking character. Following a dispute between the club and the man inside the suit Harry had to have a re-designed head with a more Child friendly appearance. In 1998 he got married to Harriet the Hornet on the pitch with Wolves’ Wolfie acting as best man for Harry. Harriet hasn’t been seen for some years and lonely Harry decided on a third make-over which allows him to wear normal football style shorts. You’ve come a long way Harry, perhaps you will find true love and happiness in the Premier League.

Phoenix & Blue – Wigan Athletic

Wigan are everything that Rovers once were. Rising from the lower leagues funded by a benefactor with a love of the club, unfashionable and struggling at times to attract larger crowds due to their proximity to more glamorous sides, they have consistently punched above their weight and managed to escape the drop; until now. They will have the distraction of UEFA Cup football to juggle with whilst getting to grips with this league but expect Owen Coyle to put out well organised teams that are hard to beat. I’m just not sure about those mascots Phoenix and Blue, they look too good to be true. Phoenix (on the right of the picture) says ‘He’s Wigan born-and-bred and loves all things Latics. From school work to keeping fit, everything he does is about Wigan Athletic. Now, with his amazing energy, team spirit, passion and skills,he’s in training to become the Latics’ next footballing star too!’ Get the contracts out and sign him up now Owen!

The Jolly Green Giant of Yeovil Town FC

Yeovil may be alphabetically challenged but they will certainly be out to prove a point this season. Newly promoted from League 1, this is a club that has come far in a relatively short space of time. Their club motto is ‘Achieve By Unity’ which is a lesson to us all. They stepped out of the Conference in 2003 and have been promoted after finishing 4th and overcoming Brentford in the play off final. They may have a tiny budget and tiny attendances but will their opponents relish travelling down to Somerset on a cold, wet and windy night in January? I think not. Clubs that come up from League 1 are usually capable of holding on at a higher level and some like Southampton and Norwich keep on climbing, but I think Yeovil will find it tough going. I thought mascots were there to entertain our younger supporters but I wouldn’t let my little ones anywhere near this sinister looking character. Get the ASBO’s ready.

And so there you have it. Twenty four teams all with eyes on a fabulous prize and the race is just about to start. Just which of these mascots will be the Lucky Ones?